Turinys
Think you are his role model
Make an effort to control yourself and channel your impulsiveness in the face of annoyances and frustrations. If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for your child because you are their role model! The way you respond to his emotions for the first five years will leave an indelible mark on the adult he will become.. Do not be in the pure reaction, take the time to think, analyze, ask yourself before acting or reacting. And so will your child.
Avoid emotional contagion
When your toddler is overwhelmed, don’t let his anger catch you, be empathetic, but aloof enough. Do not let yourself be overcome by anguish : “He only makes whims, he’s the one who makes the law, it’s a disaster, if he doesn’t obey me now, but what will it be later?” “Focus on yourself, breathe deeply, repeat mantras to yourself over and over, little personal phrases that calm you down:” I keep my cool. I remain zen. I do not fall for it. I am solid. I control myself. I assure… ”until the crisis subsides.
Organize a real decompression chamber
In the evening, when you get out of work, take ten minutes for yourself before you get home. This personal airlock between life at work and life at home will allow you to free yourself from tensions and be more Zen at home if your child gets angry. As in the theater, you change your costume by passing a
indoor outfit in which you feel good and you switch to your favorite role: that of mom available.
Remember that your anger scares him …
Becoming a parent is the perfect opportunity to improve your self-control. It happens to many parents to be so exasperated and distraught by the anger and whims of their child that they too explode. This can be understood, but it is important to realize that by losing control of yourself, you can only frighten your child because he is counting on you to protect him and calm him down.
Practice saying no calmly
To avoid the anger and guilt that follows, practice verbalizing prohibitions while remaining calm. Repeat in front of your mirror what you will say to your child in crisis: “No, I don’t agree. I forbid you to do that! In a crisis, you will manage much more calmly.
Spot the triggers
You know, certain situations make you start straight off. Pgive yourself time to think about the root cause of your fits of rage. You will no doubt find that your child is not the real cause of your outburst, but the straw that broke the camel’s back. The real reason is the accumulation of stress, an annoyance at work, a problem in your relationship, a personal worry that means that you can no longer control your emotions.
Talk about how you feel
If you ever get carried away, do not hesitate to express what made you angry, to express to him what you are feeling, so that he can better understand your reactions. Tell him you regret this outburst, that this is never the right solution. Then explain to him what you plan to do to gain the upper hand and calm yourself down, for example going for a walk, taking a hot bath, drinking a linden tea.
Do not wait before it’s too late
Sometimes you don’t have the desire or the courage to react, and you let go of a stupidity, an anger, a whim, hoping that it will end up calming down on its own. But it does not happen like that, on the contrary, your child, seeing no resistance, becomes more and more annoying. Result, you explode. He doesn’t understand anything about this sudden crisis and you feel horribly guilty. If you had put the stop and put your limits to his first crisis, you would have avoided the escalation and the clash!
Pass the baton
If you’re upset, it’s best to pass the baton on to your significant other, another adult you can rely on, and physically move away while the pressure is off.
Quickly turn the page
Your little one wanted one specific thing. He didn’t get it. He was furious and manifested it by screaming. You got angry and it went live! Okay, now it’s over, so no hard feelings! Move on quickly. By straining you, your child unwittingly tests your love. Show him that, even when he’s angry, you love him, that he can count on you. Because what is most important for him, once the crisis has passed, the cries, the tears, is to resume the course of his existence with the certainty of your love.