Turinys
Many find it difficult to decide to talk about parting. We are afraid of the partner’s reaction, we are afraid of looking like a bad and cruel person in his eyes, or we are used to avoiding unpleasant conversations. How to end a relationship and move on with your life?
Breaking up always hurts. Undoubtedly, it is easier to part with someone with whom you dated for 2 months than with someone with whom you lived for 10 years, but you should not delay the moment of parting in the hope that time will pass and everything will be as before.
1. Make sure the relationship has run its course
Try not to act in haste, under the influence of emotions. If you have a fight, give yourself time to think, this is a serious decision. When you start a conversation that it’s time to end the relationship, let the first phrase be: “I have carefully considered everything (a) …” Make it clear to the other that this is a balanced decision, not a threat.
If you feel that something needs to change, but are not sure that you are ready for a break, discuss the problem with a psychologist or coach. You can talk to your friends, but they will most likely not be able to be impartial, because they have known you for a long time. Serious issues are best discussed with a neutral person who is professionally versed in psychology. Perhaps you will understand that it is premature to talk about a break.
2. Calmly tell your partner about the decision
Do not try to do without direct communication, do not limit yourself to paper or email. A difficult conversation is necessary, you can refuse it only if you fear for safety.
If you give in now and let yourself be persuaded, it will be harder to end the relationship. Leave the past in the past
This will not be a conversation in the usual sense of the word, there will be no place for an exchange of opinions, disputes and compromises. This does not mean that the interlocutor should not be given the right to vote. It’s about the fact that you made a decision, and it is permanent. You can talk about how you feel about the breakup, but only after you say, «I’ve made the decision to move on.» Express your thoughts very clearly. Make it clear that nothing can be changed, this is not a break in the relationship, but a break.
3. Don’t get into an argument about your relationship
You have made a decision. It’s too late to talk about what could be fixed, and it’s useless to look for someone to blame. The time for accusations and quarrels is over, you already had the last and even the very last chance.
Probably, the partner will try to convince you that not everything is lost, will remember moments from the past when you were happy. If you give in now and let yourself be persuaded, it will be harder to end the relationship later. He will no longer believe in the seriousness of your intentions. Leave the past in the past, think about the present and the future.
Try not to let your partner get involved in an argument and showdown. Remind yourself that you thought for a long time before making a decision, realized that you need to stop them. This is definitive and not discussed. It hurts, but you can get through it and your partner can get through it.
Perhaps you feel sorry for a partner, or rather, a former partner. This is normal, you are a living person. In the end, he will understand that it is better this way. Why cause each other even more suffering, again trying to fix what cannot be restored?
You are doing this not only for yourself, but also for him. An honest breakup will make both sides stronger. After parting, it is necessary not only to end the relationship, but also to stop following each other on social networks.